March 9, 2010

  • Two rainy weekends, a lot of personal reflection and a new road towards a better life.
    I started a job as a caregiver for a 10 year old girl who has had over 50 surgeries, is Autistic and needs constant care. She can't feel a lot of physical pain so she walked around with a broken foot for a while. She chokes on her food, needs special meds and now is in heart failure. She also is on a behavior plan because she has been a danger to self/others- can be violent. all for $13.50 an hour. The first two days were hell but now the girls (her little sister spends a lot of time with us) and their mom are getting used to me.

    I actually really like the little girl a lot. I hope when I have a daughter she is that little and cute and smart and pretty. I really like when she reads to me or tries new art projects with us. I guess its because of her age- she's 4 and its that age where they are still little but are starting to be more cognative. She constantly says, "hold me, Katie!" and the mom doesn't want her to be held like a baby but I can't help it. She's light enough for me to pick up and I want to hold her, I want to be mommy for a little while. I want to have tea parties and watch barbie movies and dress her up- she's little enough to fit into every costume at the Dollar Store (the only place mom can afford to take them for toys).
    I'd spoil my daughter down to my last dollar to make her happy. I finally understand some of the things my mom did for me.

    As far as Lance goes he's been acting like he was abducted by aliens and replaced with a kind, sweet, affectionate man. He calls or texts every day to tell me I'm beautiful, he misses me and things like that. I'm trying to take it slow and see if we can work toward the kind of happiness I deserve. I don't know if it can happen that way. It would be nice though..

    I'm getting straight A's in my classes so far which is really nice. I'm really proud of myself because it isn't easy.
    2 jobs, 6 classes and mentoring with the teenage boys.
    I'm wonderwoman.

Comments (2)

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment