August 28, 2010

  • busy week. bought a ticket to see the Deftones in October. Got hit on by a couple of new guys. Worked on projects at my internship, had a blast playing cards with my neighbors- I am learning to really appreciate small things like laughter. It adds up. Flirted with the main guy most of the week; went over Thursday morning and saw him.. brought breakfast.. the best part of morning sex is that its probably the most fun thing you'll do all morning.. went down to campus, they changed so much shit around.. got more money back than expected for my books. Dropped another class. Fuck it, I'm going to be stuck for another semester anyway. Wound up going to my internship early; everyone from the programs department was out of the office- I got to cut and prep materials for next week's Free Arts day. The entire development department came to the art room to eat lunch and I wound up impressing them, telling them what I really want to do with my career. The director is going to help me find out what happened to the reps from juve and why it isn't rolling forward. As I move into September I'm going to be really busy; I need to develop a survey so I can collect data.. there's a lot of work to do. I want to see if I can intern again in the Spring. I like being at the office so much. After that I flirted with my main guy, lets call him T. While he was in class I decided to work on a painting which came out pretty well considering I haven't painted or sketched in a while. I messed around, poking back and forth on facebook and then at 12:01 am I wrote to him and said I wanted to see him the next day. Literally I get a text at 12:01 am  (I guess we were writing to each other at the same time?) and he invited me over.. I went and it was like a fantasy coming true, as soon as I got there he was all over me, kissing me and pulling my clothes off. Lets just say it was nothing short of fucking amazing. We stayed up til something like 3am talking.. I snuck out at 6 am to get home early... played with the adorable baby cat.. drove home in a morning rainstorm and when I got out of my car there was a giant fucking rainbow in the sky. Spent the rest of the day working on school shit, flirting through texts, made cupcakes for the last day of the Professional Artist Series, Social Dance. Played cards with the guys upstairs. Talked to my ex who is deployed in Afghanistan... he gave me his credit card info so I can order shit for him and pretty things for myself for supporting him. That's kind of nice; he bought me my perfume and a necklace, can't really beat it... and I told him I'd do that shit for him anyway. I will always love him, he was my first love after all.

     

    I got a Napster account-- and I remember being a kid and being so fucking amazed when I got to download Britney Spears off of Napster so this version of it 10+ years later blows my mind. Speaking of which, I've been listening to everything of everything, I really like this song:

    Atmosphere, "Clay" -- the entire album is fucking awesome, its called Overcast!

    When I first landed the damage was outlandish
    anguish, anxiousness, and taking it for granted
    but when I first landed I was so relieved I lost my focus
    soon exceeded recommended dosages
    now I hold the crib? that holds the soul that holds the poet skills
    exlcusive it leaves illusions of unfocused flows
    I don't suppose you're taking too much time
    breaking too much mind trying to unravel the parable?
    that dismantled and left the lines in need of some assembly
    so I can find the secret key and free all the emcees
    this planet spins on a thin axis
    all axis passes won't help you to grasp the atmos'
    I mean, what did you think
    my agenda was to freestyle, smile, get paid to smoke weed,
    and grab the mic and spoonfeed?
    there's more to this than just paying the rent
    if you're riding on this song you need to ride it to the end

    [Chorus]
    what could you say as the Earth gets further and further away?
    planets as small as balls of clay (x4)

    some shells get broke
    some keep their wigs closed
    some get exposed as little man big pose
    some make moves and some stay daydreamers
    but everbody seems to want some loot, food amd a beemer
    well make mine hunter green with camel insides,
    10 percent tints, Mr. Pibb and some french fries
    inch by inch I take it closer to the shoulder
    but day by day it's getting harder to stay sober
    once again on the edge, head's inebriated
    movement needs motive, it's easier to be sedated
    what makes me mighty and another tiny?
    why does my psyche give a damn about whether or not you like me?
    if this crime's right I might be wrong
    I grip this mic tight because it's all I really have a grip on
    so let the losers lose and let the players play

    the difference is the day to the dust some clay, what

    [Chorus - 4X]

    who's world is that? it ain't mine, and I'm grateful
    already got a plate full of clay on my table
    I'm capable of handling fate, I know this
    so do the people that get pissed when this microphonist spits
    too many get caught up in the lines that emcees thought up
    but it's clear to me the ones that fear me are the one's that outta
    I spot a blemish on your planet's existence
    I deliver subtle terror submerged in clever sentences
    instantly pissin? away the misfits
    the only residue that came of the hypothecially spew they sprayed
    when they swayed I'd have em
    half of 'em can't fathom
    where the 'Mats? from
    I may be on those
    you can ask 'em
    at last, when we get down to it
    there's more than sand and fluid
    in how I revolve and evolve
    can we solve the secrets? No.
    can we take trinkets? No.
    so when the ink hits it's more than just a sequenced flow
    I can't bring you with me so I'm a leave me here
    centuries from now they're gonna study Atmosphere
    carefully I steer, I'm aware life is fatal
    when I go, I wanna go like Ho, taken by the play-dough.

     

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    ink stained fingers
    careless, inspired and looking through tired
    eyes that watch the words crystalize
    the page takes on a life of itself
    and its health is fading, fast
    fuck the pieces of the past
    she tried to rebuild
    reconstruct, hoping it could last

    (that was written by me. I wish I could add to it)