January 2, 2011

  • I'm spending my days filling the hours

    Spending each hour filling the minutes

    Trying to make the minutes pass

    Without memories of what it felt like

    When you kissed me in the cold moonlight

    And under stars and black sky that stretched for miles

    You told me what are now obvious lies

    That were so beautiful, my head danced with fantasy

    Of what we would become as forever lay at our feet

    But growing inside of me was a seed of carelessness

    The winnings of an immature contest

    I did anything to win; and win I did

    That very first night I took him home it blossomed there

    Deep within the hollows of my mind I knew

    The second I felt that gush of finality

    And this seed grew wretched with impurity

    And tore my body to pieces with its grasp

    Until the doctors told me that it was not growing well

    Something was inherently wrong as it built up its fortress

    And as it grew it wound thorny vines through my thoughts

    The punishment of my selfishness worse than 25 to life

    And though I missed the softness of his lips against mine

    I could no longer look into the eyes of this lonely man

    And with that I sealed our fate and said goodbye

    With out a fight he went back to his own prison cell

    Trapped behind innocent brown eyes he lives

    Each day another lie in a comfortable web

    A pointless slave to an ugly soul

    And there is no prize, no comfort in this change

    I expelled the seed from my womb and scarred my own heart

    Christmas brought the gift of regret and sorrow

    And the new year laid a new seed at my feet

    One to plant in the garden of my mind

    Lessons learned, though they sting as they start to stick

    The days pass and this empty feeling

    Sends me wandering the maze of a heart you forgot you claimed