January 14, 2011

• "Man was cursed with a mental wattage that overlit the squalid sublet of this pointless life. That wattage turned good men into serial murderers, pedophilic stalkers, and assorted cult members. Drugs and booze were shades and tints designed to dim that needless beam of consciousness," - Arthur Nersesian

   

  Well good morning blogland. Since Facebook is down and I really wanted to put that quote up I'm blogging... and with my mac in my lap- not something I often do. I washed my sheets and favorite blanket last night so sleep was delishhhhhh and my bed is super cozy, I've got this thing that looks like a giant make up applicator triangle but its a wedge pillow (and it vibrates for back massage purposes Oooooo) The lighting is so perfect in my room right now, I haven't really been up before ten lately but not necessarily in the way you'd think- I've been up at 3 am, 6am, and stayed up until 9am and fallen back to sleep.

  First off I was tired of the bullshit with my extensions, they were doing the opposite of what they were supposed to- my hair looked awful and I felt awful. At 5pm I was watching My Fair Wedding again with my mom and said screw it- and called as many salons as I could. One down the block said they could take me in 15 minutes so I went over. I told the hairdresser the story of David and how I needed a fresh start. They totally pampered me, did my eyebrows for free, got the stupid extensions out and gave me a phenomenal haircut. I still have length, its pretty much to my shoulders and I feel fantastic. I can't believe how happy I am without them. So... Tuesday night/Wednesday at 2:30 my mom hears what sounds like two gun shot shots go off. Our neighborhood is way too nice for that stuff... so of course she wakes me up, we run outside (and horray, my hair is still done!) and there is a giant cloud of black smoke. A couple of my neighbors from the complex come out too. One fire engine showed up and one cop car- a Denali magically blew itself up according to Mr. I-look-like-I'm-12-but-I'm-a-police-officer-I-swear. The genius asked us all if it was our car or if we knew who's car it was and we all looked at each other baffled- YEP that's my car and instead of freaking out I'm gonna stand in the cold with my neighbors. Well I talked to one of them, 6'1 well built, blonde hair blue eyed guy and we clicked. It turned out he lives in my building not directly above me, but in the apartment behind that, facing the canal. My luck and upstairs neighbors! As we were walking up the stairs I said, "see you soon!" and quietly he said, "I hope so"... my mom caught it and said, "Did you hear that?" so just how I made friends with my previous neighbors I went inside, wrote a little note with my number and said text me. And the next afternoon he did. Of course to make my blog more confusing his name just so happens to be Rob. Yes, I dated a Rob in October. Not the same guy.

  I went on a job interview with Massage Envy and I really want that job so bad, its the pay I need ($14/hr) its down the block so I can take the bus there-- my car is officially done, its a Sales position which I love, and I kicked major ass at the interview. Anyway, after that I went out to lunch with Rabbit (Emily) and we did some good talking/soul searching. Though my mother and I have made this plan to leave Arizona if I get this job- I don't want to. I want to be able to graduate from ASU and actually walk. I want to pick where I want to go not where my mom wants to go. But, I want to live in the same city with her and if she can't get a job here, what can we do? Anyway, I got at the very least the rent covered til April. This is the first financial aide check that I haven't been able to actually buy a new bra, buy new clothes (I mean I got one pair of clearance jeans and sweats which was nice) or even perfume and that blows. A lot.

  Anyway... still in all after hanging with Emily I came home and Rob came over. We sat and talked for hours, apparently he's in the wine industry and long story short has met all of the awesome chefs I love from the Food Network and Top Chef... and even had his own restaurant in Houston. He obviously has a lot of money but that never mattered much to me. He's 32 (so 10 years older) and I wasn't crazy insanely attracted to him, but we got along so well. In my head (now I'm admitting it here because its Xanga and its my journal so I should be able to) I looked at him- without really knowing the whole story, who could in 3 hours? but it felt like it did when I had sex that time and went in the bathroom and sat down and was like, "I just got pregnant" (and it turned out that was the EXACT time I did) I looked at him and thought, "I can see myself marrying this man". Now that is super heavy and could totally just be from days of wedding shows, but there have been stories on these shows where the women have admitted that there was just something that said to them he was the one, or that a specific dress was the one, and honestly, my head was going: Slow the hell down because he very well could be. 

  He's financially independent, creative, smart, funny, classy... extremely handsome. But let me slow my roll and get back to writing about what happened. At around 9 he finally asked me if he could have the pleasure of taking me out for a drink so I got dressed and he pulled out of a garage in a black Mercedes SUV type vehicle that was one of THE nicest cars I've been in since being in Sammy's Audi. He got out, came around, told me I looked beautiful and opened the door for me. Already I was impressed. We got drinks at the bar and of course Brian called, so I had to step out and answer him. He told me he really isn't interested in a relationship or me moving to Colorado if it isn't for better reasons other than him, so I decided I'd back off. I told him I was out with my girlfriends- I didn't want to upset him and at that point even though my brain said this guy is awesome, we had only talked in a friendly way and hadn't even touched flirtatiously whatsoever. 

  After a couple of drinks we both realized we were hungry and decided to get In&Out burger before going back to the apartment. He whipped out a hundred dollar bill to pay for four drinks at a really casual bar (there were a few in that really expensive wallet too which was like wow, AND he's treating. I guess I haven't dated nice guys before really) We drove through and got burgers, then came back to my apartment. We threw on Chopped and ate and laughed, then made the plan that I was going to take a quick shower, he was gonna get comfy clothes and we were going to cuddle up and watch a movie. So this was probably 11:30ish. At midnight I opened my futon and set it up so we could watch the movie and cuddle, he chose The Dark Knight. Then finally, the first flirtatious move was made- I leaned my head on his extremely toned arm and melted like butter in a really hot pan. Honestly, I guess the two drinks were enough because I don't generally drink but him and I got so comfortable. Then we laid down and I fell asleep in his arms... then I woke up and realized it was 2am and he was asleep too. I turned over and kissed him. He woke up and kissed me back, and there it was- the spark I was hoping for. Gently he ran his hands up and down my body and then whispered, "I have to go". I asked him to stay but he wanted to be a gentleman and 1. Not have sex on the first date (and boy were we going to get there fast because man things were perfect) and 2. Not sleep over the first time hanging out. I felt a HUGE amount of respect for him for saying that, and leaving though it was rough for us both. When we stood up I had to stand on my tip toes to kiss him which I really liked. He texted me when he got home that he had a great time. He also left a cozy shirt here. 

  I had plans with Emily to go to this job interview at an indoor inflatable play place but she bailed last minute. Another friend of mine was on facebook and I asked his opinion on whether or not I should go because I had recommended her and got her the interview- he asked to come with me instead. He did and besides a short sit down with the manager, we got to run around on these giant inflatables for 20 minutes playing tag, sliding, basketball, then doing an obstacle course (which I failed at) The great part was everyone who was interviewing was cool and we all teamed up and did relay races and other fun games. After that we hung out while each person got interviewed separately and I really hit it off with another girl there named Corey. Erin and Chris were planning to come over for movie night and Esai was going to join too so I invited her. I am so glad I did! She was so much fun to spend time with and we got to hang out alone for about an hour, she followed Esai and I back to my apartment then he went home to change from basketball shorts to regular pants (since we all had to dress comfy for the jumpy interview) She's really intelligent and even though she lives 40 minutes away, she's totally worth being friends with. Everyone arrived and we had pizza and cake, smoked and laughed our asses off and even though it was movie night we never put a movie on. Rob was supposed to spend time with me when he got home late but his phone died when he was trying to get a ride from his cousin so I think he just crashed over there. 

  For some reason Emily's being bitchy and its probably because I called out her girlfriend on being an amazing person-- that is dissociative. Oh well. I'm just really happy right now. I'm going to keep plugging away at looking for a job, dealing with my shoulder the best I can and moving forward. This song fits perfectly.

   

  Ke$ha : Crazy Beautiful Life Lyrics

  I'm in love, alright
  With my crazy, beautiful life
  With the parties, the disasters
  With my friends all pretty & plastered

  Every night we're down to go out
  Waking up on a different couch
  'Til the next night on the next flight
  Yeah, I guess we're doing alright

  Oh, oh, oh
  We're falling in love
  Oh, oh, oh
  'Til the sun's coming up
  Oh, oh, oh
  Just living the life
  Oh, oh, oh

  Every single night we fight
  To get a little high on life
  To get a little something right
  Something real, at least we try

  Time after time
  Trash talking all the douche-bag guys
  Try trading all the wasted times
  For something real in this crazy life

  I just hope some people see
  There's nothing that I'm trying to be
  Let me just stop all the shit talk
  I know I'm the new bitch on the block

  I've been through my sketchy phases
  Been broke, been a shitty waitress
  But I'm not now, guess it worked out <---- its getting there.
  Got here by running my mouth

  Every single night we fight
  To get a little high on life
  To get a little something right
  Something real, at least we try

  Time after time
  Trash talking all the douche-bag guys
  Try trading all the wasted times
  For something real in this crazy life

  Every single night we...

  Every single night we fight
  To get a little high on life
  To get a little something right
  Something real, at least we try

  Time after time
  Trash talking all the douche-bag guys
  Try trading all the wasted times
  For something real in this crazy life

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