June 26, 2011

• The people I love the most here in Phoenix are my mom, Isla and Drowsey. Yes, I included my cats. Everyone else is far away... (Josh come freakin visit. Kylie as soon as I have airfare I am coming home and to see you) 

  "I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic and when I say lets keep in touch I hope you know I mean I wish that you'd grow up"

  Though I was immature in many ways I don't regret blowing up at my boyfriend. It was the most emotions I have had for him in a long time. I broke up with him and he apologized left and right, did me a pretty big favor including a financial one, and after thinking about it today I know I would miss him-- and his son, in my life. I told him we could watch the premiere of True Blood tomorrow night as we had planned and talk about things.

  And today, I legit missed him. When he is good to me its better than I've ever been treated... except for by one person who refuses to give me another chance. Two different worlds though, and I get it.

  I'm grasping at the straws of that friendship to get me by. Love is a drug and I'm sick and addicted.

  I used to be able to write such good poetry...

   

  Cat like eyes that shine like mine
  in the searing hot Arizona sun
  fingers intertwined
  I'm killing time
  between your bedsheets
  and your bottom line
  your hair so long and beautiful
  nicer than mine, I stroke it carefully
  trying to imagine what it might be like
  feeling the soft skin of a female
  kissing smooth curves
  tasting fresh peaches in the afternoon
  but I pretend I'll never go there again
  to the corners of my mind
  where fantasy comes alive

   

   

  that sucked and got lesbian for a second. I don't know. Luke's hair is longer and thicker than mine and I get jealous. And sometimes I stroke it and imagine a woman. Especially if its the morning and he's face down asleep with his hair in a pony tail its easy to imagine someone else.

  crazy
   

  • 2:33 am
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