December 15, 2011

  • Venti Venting

    Since being rehired at Starbucks....

    1. No one has told me how much I will be getting paid hourly. This is frustrating as hell because not only do I not know but I have asked several times and when I couldn't find a check, my mom gave me her bank acct info so not only do I have no idea what I'm making but I don't even know if I have ever get paid yet. I need to switched it.

    2. Even though I'm just a rehire with a huge lack of training, people expect me to be a master of everything.

    3. I don't even have a "food handler's card". I had one in Vegas for the longest. 

    4. I feel like I'm drowning. 

     

    It isn't the job. It isn't this place.

    This story's old but it goes on and on until we disappear,
    (This is the calm.)
    Calm me and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath,
    (We are the risen.)
    I am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea,
    (After the storm.)
    I spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean,
    (Rest in the deep.)
    I know that this is what you want, a funeral keeps both of us apart.
    (Washed up on the beach.)
    You know that you are not alone, I need you like water in my lungs.

     

     

    I wanted this to be real but we're just playing pretend because we need someone to lean on. I'm going to act out my part but disappear towards the ocean. This month is dark and I want to breathe in the salt. I want to sit on a cold beach. I can pretend I'm not an addict, hell this all was just a big joke. A long lie. My head spins with that song from high school (the artist in the ambulance... was that the ONLY Thrice song I ever liked?) I haven't been myself since I was 16. And every year that I get further away from her, I become more bitter. (What do I have to show except the promises I never kept?)

    This isn't about Starbucks. This is about being finished with Arizona and wanting to leave it now, leave it alone, start over anywhere but here.