January 13, 2012

• Recently I interviewed for a receptionist position at a consulting firm. The interview was panel style, and the HR manager asked me why I wanted that position with my extensive credentials and excellent resume. I got hired instead to be the Lead Conversion Analyst --- I am being given the chance for the president of the company to mentor me, to take me under his wing and actually learn the industry. I am doing technical writing and loving it. And then tonight it clicked for me--- by the way, for those of you who read this and know my real name you'll get a kick out of this-- the president of the company is a 6'3-4 ft African American Army veteran that goes by his initials, KT.

   

  I wrote him this tonight and meant it.

   

  This email is important to my journey but you have other time sensitive things to read so though this is of low priority, I needed to write this now because it is a remarkable eye opening change for me. You already seem to understand me very well without knowing many details directly from me-- my upbringing, etc. I am sure you may have noticed on my right leg I have tattoos of Alice from Disney's 1951 version of Alice in Wonderland and on the other side of my calf, the white rabbit is depicted running away from her. For the longest time I have been in love with Alice and have seen myself as her in some ways; the idea of being lost trying to figure out who I am in strange, new places and phases of my life..  but the movie has one song that inspired me to get the tattoo. Its called, "In a World of My Own". The reason I loved it so was simply because it was Alice romanticizing the world singing, "I keep wishing it could be that way because my world would be a wonderland,"

  Why am I telling you this? Since I began working for you last week my wardrobe has changed, I used to think being sorta messy (meaning having an organized mess was okay because of being a busy college student)--but now I have taken the time to make my bedroom, my closet(s), my bathroom; completely spotless. I made time for all of my assignments (which I do anyway) and even won a gift certificate from my advisors at ASU in the Criminology department to my favorite salon for bringing the College of Public Programs the furthest that college has ever gone in the Academic Bowl as the team captain, I ordered one book, rented one and have to wait on the reimbursement for my remaining science book but besides that--- I have suddenly become extremely organized. When I start working on a task, I am able to better focus on it in a completely new light. I feel as if I am no longer Alice when she was lost, wandering through Wonderland wishing for something better. Because of you and the way you motivated me with your words, the way I watch you (and others around me) as you told me to, learning these patterns-- I start looking at the clock and utilizing every 15 minutes. I'm no longer that little girl Alice, I am the Alice that is holding the vorple sword, ready to slay the Jabberwocky. You have helped me in one incredible week, to realize that this life is my life to own and make my wonderland a better place through my own actions. In shutting up I am actually listening more, not just waiting for my turn to speak.

  You have opened my eyes to what my capabilities are, the intelligence and potential I possess. I apologize for the extra details and the length of this email but it was cathartic and an important stepping stone for me to articulate my sincere gratitude for my first real step towards a career that I actually want. Thank you for seeing in me what I always knew was there, but was never certain about who I was, am or could become.

  Sincerely,

  - The other KT.

  I leaned over to cut off the ankle bracelet I made when I was 13 and excited to jump forward into adulthood. I have been looking at it recently thinking that I wish I would've taken my time back then. As I touched the ankle bracelet before I even had the chance to lift the scissors it poetically fell off.

  My life is opening up in front of me. I have a resolution to my father's case and some large decisions to make as well as graduating in May Magna Cum Laude.

  Life is new, beautiful and inspiring.

   

  • 1:30 am
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