August 25, 2014

  • we laugh indoors

    we get there on bus lines
    we laugh indoors
    we walk in the ever brutal
    Arizona sunshine
    building up sweat
    socks that dip below our ankles
    and as we walk it rubs against skin
    blisters of days I tried to make perfect
    I love you to the depths of myself
    I can focus on creating my own future
    but I do protest, my love
    without you in it, there is a lack of hope
    I want to grow old in your arms
    but its becoming clear how hard that shell is
    unbreakable, but sometimes I see through the cracks
    I ache for more, a starving child
    your thoughts the only food that could suffice
    your heart the only shelter I need to be safe
    underneath a popcorn white ceiling you slept
    as I stared into the darkness,
    your arms sliding around me
    and I know I don't want to find artifacts of what we were
    someday down the line, a junk drawer of regrets
    I want to polish this love
    let it shine just a little, even inside
    and I don't think you know how much I missed you
    standing in the pouring rain
    the hills of North Carolina couldn't embrace me
    I lived in the lyrics of songs that tried to hold me
    help me hold on until I could reach you
    and so many miles, so many years
    I never knew exactly what to expect
    so I tried not expecting anything at all
    but now my soul is hungry
    silent moments I look into your eyes or at your face
    smooth features of my statuesque God
    you may not be going anywhere
    but I want you to go everywhere-
    with me.

    Don't kill the messenger. Understand the difference. I will do what I need to do, but fuck. FUCK. I spent too many years doing that without you and I'm tired of it. Tired. I just want you by my side.