October 12, 2017

  • read my mind

    I'm always counting chickens
    Before the eggs are even laid
    Now I don't have a thing to my name
    A borrowed phone, one last pack of smokes
    Not sure where I'll get another from
    Singing the blues
    I cry myself to sleep at night
    I wait until your breathing steadies
    and I know you are completely out
    and then I touch your face softly
    Trying to tell myself it will be okay
    Because of you
    and then the next day I watch
    as tears well up in his eyes
    feeling the whole weight of the world
    aching for what he has lost
    and I try not to ache for what I will lose
    I'm not stupid, I know this can't last forever
    (Why do all good things come to an end?)
    Waiting for the other shoe to drop
    Just piles on the anxiety
    But I can't blame his naivety
    When I was 18 I thought I'd spend forever with someone else
    And at 22, and 26
    the sad, unrelentless truth is everyone dies alone
    Everyone usually suffers alone
    And there is more of the world for him
    And I'm afraid, just one ticket
    So I'll stay behind and someday lick my wounds
    When he does move on
    If you could read my mind
    I'm trying to turn this all around
    Stuck on a carousel of problem after problem
    I don't even mind any more
    I'll just tackle it one thing at a time