Month: January 2018

  • Blood Bank

    Up the rocky trail
    Already dizzied by the smell of you
    As my mind tried focusing on each step
    one in front of the other
    Thinking about your fingers
    Running so softly through my hair
    And I knew you could feel my lips ache
    For just one brief, simple kiss
    But I followed you there
    A little alcove in the mess of trees
    And you sat back in the dust
    And pulled me between your legs
    Looking up at that smile
    Like a million stars in the night sky
    Breathtaking yet calm
    Leaning back you wrapped your arms around me
    And the silence of the canyon
    Swept across us slowly
    Each breath bittersweet sonnets
    If only my heart could reach the distance
    The sun setting quickly
    A kiss finally mine
    My fingers laced with yours
    Life seemed to be blooming with possibilities
    I wanted to scream and let the noise echo
    Let the secret pour from my veins
    I've fallen desperately in love with you
    But just like my way up the trail
    This will take baby steps to reach my summit
    Or will you destroy me before my eyes
    May reach the beautiful horizon line?

  • a new year

    For more than a decade I have been burying my head in the sand with drugs. It has caused me nothing but pain and serious consequences. I have decided that there are many things I would accomplish during my 30th year on Earth and here are some big and some small goals:

    1. write more
    2. take better care of my mother
    3. use moderation
    4. become a better active listener. AND ACTUALLY LISTEN TO WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING not what you think they might "mean".
    5. do more art
    6. (and yes these are obvious) get a good job
    7. get a car
    8. get a cell phone of my own
    9. work out a payment plan with ASU to be able to get my transcripts to start a new program.
    10. research other universities that might not need my B.S. transcripts for admission
    11. get a bank account locally
    12. work on my credit
    13. continue to lose weight
    14. become a more logic based person vs. emotionally based person.
    15. seek counseling
    16. complete my deferred sentence (community service, fines, etc)
    17. create a personal and household budget (what is my portion of the bills)
    18. start saving
    19. Make a plan to move (in or out of state)
    20. work on myself before trying to find a relationship. FWBS are fine, but nothing more.

    These are just some of my thoughts as once again my insomnia plagues me.