ugh boy problems.
too many options now
some from the past (as far back as the guy who took my virginity, eep)
some that are new.

and all before it gets insane at work. geeeeze,

proud of myself.
loosing weight without being insane about it. Just feeling better in general. Up til 2am doing homework and actually successfully up again at 6 to make the bus to class. Pain doctor today will give me the results of my MRI and tell me if I need surgery on my shoulder/when. Oh so tired.

I am finally learning to not care about you stupid bitches and your opinion, and really want to insert an asian style smiley face that is squinting it's eyes right here.

The music spectrum widens. This morning.. CSS - Art Bitch

You know life is weird when... most of the afternoon is spent text messaging a guy that you can't legally touch, interspersed with discussing the probability of going to jail if touching said guy were to happen with several friends, your evening lands you in pajamas wandering around a grocery store at almost 10pm and you leave without any groceries but a birthday card for a friend you aren't even talking to, the night is spent playing backgammon online with your boss, you wind up awake with your mom at 2:30/3am (even though you just fell asleep)- but hey, at least she interrupted the dream where you were carrying around a black foster baby that had a fever and you couldn't find it a doctor, then stay up til approximately 4:30 am watching South Park and Tosh.0, get woken up by the phone ringing at 8, get woken up by the phone ringing at 9 and finally say FUCK IT, its time for bad Sweedish pop and McDonald's coffee... just to do some homework and wind up right back where you started... AT WORK.

yeah.

this month, day 10:
so, if someday we get to meet again
in a car crash, plane wreck, terrorist attack
or maybe next thursday nite
don't bother saying hi

I've had a good week.
Maybe I should say a great week... my self confidence is growing substantially... For some reason I am feeling valuable, beautiful, interesting...
Once I removed the stress of the sorority and that class, I feel like a new person. A free bird... I'm having a blast at work, I'm getting things done, it is a beautiful turn of events.

I'm running straight A's, getting old navy cards. It was just necessary for my period of adjustment to Arizona, I think.

song of the month is, "You Learn".

I read, "all that glitters isn't gold" and I know that "all good things come to an end", but this never was my light in the dark, and I can't remember the last time it was good. Try to play my heart strings on the telephone, but indifferent is a good shade that goes nicely with my eyes.

It is a Sleazy Wendesday...(Jack's Mannequin)

welcome to the future
we're all so glad you came
attacked me in the laneway
in this town you don't get nowhere unless you're on a bicycle
so hip and out of touch
parked out on the speedway
just trying not to move
its only getting harder now

we could engineer a wall that couldn't fall
with all this time
my life in techinicolor
can you check the shutters
someone get my mother
on the phone
she oughta know what i'm up to
out here in hollywood you don't need a sweater cause the sun feels better
in slow motion
i ride the wave back home

welcome to your next life
iweve hope you've come prepared
we all wish you the best life
the questions leave a message
we'll call you back, of course we will
so dive in and dye your hair
yeah baby its the new you
stitchin' up your style
but i'm not too concerned with fashion

we could wait for rain to fall but it would only waste
our time
my life in techinicolor
can you check the shutters
someone get my mother
on the phone
she oughta know what i'm up to
out here in hollwyood you don't need a sweater cause the sun feels better
in slow motion
i ride the wave back home

someone get my mother
on the phone
she oughta know what we're up to
out here in hollywood you don't need a sweater cause the sun feels better
in slow motion
i ride the wave back home
i want outta the wave
my life in technicolor,
my life in techincolor,
my life,
my mother on the phone

out here in hollywood
out here, out here in hollywood
its so much better
ill ride the wave back home

never had my hair this long/dark. I'm enjoying it.
volunteer orientation today for Free Arts of Arizona, which is a non-profit that brings art to foster/abused/at risk children as a way to express their emotions in a positive way.... aka the beginning of my career.

Sooner or later it had to happen and it did. I cleaned house.

I ended my pledge process. I gave it one last chance and the girls in my pledge class proved to be irresponsible, uncaring and flakey. I never really realized how important accountability could be to me.

I put a period on the relationship that had become a nasty run on sentence.

I let the bitchy girls at work talk shit about me without caring, for once.

Listen to the song, "You're With Stupid Now" by Aimee Mann.

I'm tired of my extensions. I want them out and want to dye my hair brown.

I never thought I'd really enjoy being alone. I can do whatever I really want/need to do, and not be bothered with how another person feels.

I made some silly mistakes. I understand some of them, others I don't-- but each was a good learning experience. I regret attempting to put down some roots in a place that won't be permanant anyway.

I am feeling very underappreciated and overwhelmed.

MICHAEL JACKSON MOVIE TONIGHT

totally wearing my thriller t-shirt.

<3

I'm in love with Taylor Swift and I am starting to completely understand why people have been oogling over her since day one. Such emotionally powerful lyrics.
my song of today is "Breathe".
Lance is in town because he is considering moving to Phoenix, but it doesnt seem as if his balls have dropped yet and he's too afraid to change the miserable situation he is in in Vegas.
but... that is no longer my problem.
most likely my mom and I will plan on a two bedroom for the beginning of the year.

I swore to myself I wouldn't miss class but here I am, missing it. not happy with myself. Will make it to my second class though

great day at school yesterday, beautiful weather, good grades, etc.
on the way home- hit and run car accident.
I was okay, the car was okay, but it was just a pain in the ass.
Wound up missing work
which made me able to go to a sisterhood event
which restored my faith in my sorority.
so, every cloud can have a silver lining.

underappereciated and overwhelmed.

but a good day, all in all.